Quest of the Necromeister

on Jun 27 in Blog tagged by

All light flowed from the cavern like water into a storm drain as black ran down the walls into unseen cracks in the floor. Soon, only candles on the floor and iridescent reflections off of the slick walls, reflections of seemingly nothing, could be seen. Even the resulting near-dark would confuse the unprepared, as there quickly became little difference between what one could see with eyes open or closed. As the darkness engulfed him, Ronnie, Necromeister of the two-hundred-fifty-fifth degree, knew that the trick was to focus on what he couldn’t see: his brethren, the unmoving black shapes that remained constant against the chaotic red and white glisten.

An Occluded Occult

Many Necromeisters resort to violence to get their preferred Robe color

Through their complete concentration, the light circled inward and upward from above nearly-visible hoods. The flames formed a hand, which waved vigorously down at them momentarily before being absorbed by the dark.

Much as the certainty of sight quickly faded, the unprepared would next lose clarity of hearing. Despite the wetness of the place, there was no sound of running water from a nearby river. Despite being situated not far underneath Mine Town residences, there were no sounds associated with modern life from above. Still, Ronnie would not go deaf from silence as, again, his brethren gave his mind an anchor in that void. Unthinking, he focused on the shuffle of fabric as the sleeves of robes around him played different parts of a rhythm he had practiced his entire life. The rhythm continued until time itself lost meaning, when a voice answered the call of Ronnie and his long-silent fellows.

“Thanks so much for coming guys! Now let’s get started!”

The sounds swelled and swirled with the visible aura of that place, and Ronnie lost himself to it. He and those around him changed that cavern, and it changed them, until even the barriers of walls and bodies fell, converging the energies of that place and those within it. United, but distinct, consciousnesses now sensed each other clearly.

In the center, the blue-white radiance of their Master coalesced, and handed down his terrible task.

“Well, we ALL know about Satans. Hunted to extinction, right? Right?!  Not so! Maybe. We’re not quite sure. I mean, *hem* I’M not that sure. Here, this will help:”

Ronnie watched closely as his luminous Master scried upon the town above. Weaving through the streets, down alleys, through armor shops and apothecaries, a queue of figures went on and on. Not one entity had a face to see; some were shrouded in metal or cloth, while others were dead and decayed beyond recognition.

The line eventually ended at a large spire, into which one of the metal-faced figures was summoned. From the court within, their impossible task was at last revealed: “Go kill Satan”.

“A Satan still lives!”, the image churned back into the Master’s presence. “We think. I think. I mean, that guy looks like he knows his stuff, right?” Ronnie and the others nodded in the way that disembodied essences tend to nod.

“Now, our research… err, AND, my infinite wisdom suggests that this one last Satan guy probably guards some swell kind of power, which is how he’s lived this long. So who’s up for a trip to Hell to go get it!?”

Ronnie and his fellows tried to look diffident in exactly the way that disembodied essences can’t, and the effort only made Ronnie appear to volunteer for the task.

“Ronnie! You are just the kind of go-getter guy to get this done! I know you’ll make me proud! Now don’t worry, I’ll be watching in as much as I can to give you a hand. As long as you learn the six secret principles of Necromeistry, you’ll make it through just fine!”

The plane dimmed a good deal as all followers except Ronnie twisted into the void.

“1. Eternal Life! This one’s a cinch. Just think really hard right when you’re about to die, and then you won’t! Don’t worry about getting it the first try, since not everyone gets the hang of it right away.

“2. Death Bolts.”  The Master pursed his lips and blew a white-hot blast of energy that washed over Ronnie, before sputtering a few ‘phwooooo’, ‘tseeeew’, and ‘bwoooosh’ noises. “Just like that,” he finished.

“3. Summon Stuff. Phantoms are best. I’ve got a boatload of them around here somewhere that you can use. Ah, there.” He produced an image of several limp spirits piled next to each other, a few of which were positioned to sit inside a suit of armor or had their grip wrapped over a potion. “Or just murder someone and bring them back from death. Up to you!

“4. Sacrifice. Just like we practiced on that Tourist last week. Only! When you kill something you’ve summoned, use its soul to patch yourself up. Oh, and you’ll be healed automatically, you won’t need to eat what you killed.” A chill went up Ronnie’s incorporeal spine as he remembered the Tourist.

“5. Vampiric Rain:”, the spectre next blasted Ronnie with several red fireballs and made a few more fireball sounds, this time. “So, it’s kind of like Death Bolts, only they ALSO heal you. Again, don’t eat anything.

“And 6: Touch. Just reach over to someone, poke him with your finger, and you can shoot all of your life force into him BOOM. This one might almost kill you though, so be careful not to die when you do it.

“So there you go! Just look how ready you are, I KNOW you can do this! Now,” Ronnie was returned to his body and the dark, hard cave as his Master gave final instructions from His now-invisible plane, “just like that wise, old man said, GO KILL SATAN. He’s that way”. Ronnie faced different directions of darkness, uninspired, then began feeling his way down the walls.

“Oh, and if you could send any stuff you find back my way, that’d be great! Especially clothes.” After a moment’s pause, the voice quickly continued, “because, we need more Offerings of Robes and stuff for new followers, yes. Now, off you go! Safe trip!”


  1. MooFoo

    Apr 18th, 2012

    Offerings of Robes? Is this an actual thing in the game? Does this have to do with the picture’s caption “Many Necromeisters resort to violence to get their preferred Robe color”?

    Seems like a hint that implies a way to change the Necromeister’s robe color. Is this true?

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