Robot Fighting League Announces “Rogue-Bot” Class

on Apr 18 in Blog tagged by

The Bandit Hole Robot Fighting League has opened its doors to the new, prototype Rogue-Bot class invented by championship designer Parker “Permadeath” Packrats. Packrats had this to say about his creation.

Rogue-Bot software is capable of fear, for the sole ability to ignore it

“Lotta people doh’know when y’got a ‘Bot that’ll kill its target, an when y’got a Bot that’s gonna kill EVERYBODY. Now that is a Bot!”

Packrats, also famous for his summer “Bombing in the Park” stage desctructions in Mine Town, claims the inspiration for the design came from the multitude of Rogues passing through the Bandit Hole. “‘Specially those fairies, with the snug little purple dresses. They were a particular inspiration for me,” said Packrats.

Indie developer and town beatnik Brandy Starshine described the Rogue-Bot development experience as “life-affirming”. After struggling to manually recreate the abilities of Packrat’s prototype herself, Starshine realized “we’ve all just got to let our Rogue-Bots go and roam free through the subterranean world. They say, when a Rogue-Bot transcends the fourth layer of Hell, its mind unfurls to the beauty of true destructive omnipotence”.

While not all designers have taken such a spiritual outlook on learning algorithms, many bot-builders have released their creations into the Bandit Hole in the hopes that they will learn to kill more effectively on their own, hopefully returning with some of Packrat’s hallmark skills, or other emergent behaviors:

Target Rocket: Returning from earlier RFL designs, Rogue-Bots can launch projectile ballistics that explode outward from the target.

Net Launcher: Compensating for a design limitation that prevents their rockets from moving more than 12 feet per second, Rogue-Bots are capable of trapping their target in place until a rocket has detonated.

Robo-Bombs: These small red bombs create a 3×3 explosive blast upon close contact with any enemy targets. Packrats claims the happy expression is owed to “a complicatered heyoooour-istic (that’s a programmin’ word fer goal) that brings happiness with the opportunity for pain”

Morph Ball: RFL enthusiasts often note that other Robot Class fights either end too quickly or get boring fast as Robots are killed or tire. Rogue-Bots can transition into a smaller state in which they can absorb damage and quickly regain energy, allowing battles to be longer and more action-packed.

The Rogue-Bots were designed as a means of pushing the limits of the sense of danger many fans cite as being key to the Robot Fighting experience. Tom Tardent, whiskey distiller and father of two, said, “We used to go to the races each week hoping to see a good crash, and maybe only saw one or two. When we heard that even spectators were getting killed in the Robot League games, well, we knew where we’d be spending our Friday nights, right kids?!”

Even with the wildly anticipated start of the new League only weeks away, there are still some safety concerns that may put the Fighting League games on hold indefinitely. Public Safety officials are addressing fears that concession stands and water fountains are in violation of public health codes, and Public Safety Senior Toxin Analyst also stated that, “Mine Town residents should be aware of the disease risk presented by Bandit Hole residents and Tourists from foreign lands. Both should be easily identifiable thanks to their fondness for ten-gallon hats. Direct contact should be avoided if at all possible.” He finished, “Really, they’re just gross.”

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