100 Rogues 2.0 – THE HYPE!

on Oct 29 in Blog tagged by

This blog post will tell you all about the MASSIVE IMPROVEMENTS to 100 Rogues for the upcoming free patch, version 2.0.  Not that it NEEDS improvement since clearly it is already a game that Bioshock creator Ken Levine likes. [kotaku].

Sometime in the next day or so, we plan to push the COLOSSAL, LEGENDARY, and FANTASTIC new version of 100 Rogues. New monsters, a kick-ass new boss designed by Sir Blake Reynolds, new music, new sounds, new new new!  I wouldn’t be surprised if the Crusader has a new “wig” item that he can plop down on top of his helmet to keep it warm for ice levels!  There isn’t a “wig” OR ice levels, but seriously I wouldn’t be surprised if there were!

But BETTER is even BETTER than new, and that’s the new thing that’s better AND new about 100 Rogues – just how much better it is!

Systems have been tweaked, fixed, changed – rules have been savagely broken and then tossed down the chimney in an unceremonious fashion.

Basically, playing 100 Rogues now feels like a cool mist blowing over you on a hot summer afternoon, with a famous French painter serving you grape spritzers .  Mmmm, Cézanne, you make a mean grape spritzer.

Just so you know we’re not kidding, here’s a PHOTOGRAPH of EXACTLY what went down.

STOCK_PHOTO1

In the first photo, you can see me, listening to the complaints of our players. “ALL THE PROBLEMS!!” you said, and you were RIGHT!

In the second photo, you see money being funneled from one area into another… actually… we’re pretty sure whatever’s going on there is illegal… just forget you ever saw this one.

In the third photo, we see that time someone handed me a note.  It was confiscated and read in front of the class – VERY EMBARRASSING!!!

In the fourth photo, you see all the data forms used to achieve the game’s SLAMMIN’ new balance.  Also someone’s glasses. Here’s my impression of that NERD, running around town looking for his glasses:

“HELP, HELP! Has anyone seen my glasses?” *accidentally runs right into a tree, dying instantly*

Hahaha!  Idiot!

In the fifth photo, bottom right, we see how happy you get (in the future) from playing 100 Rogues.  If there was a speech bubble there it would say “100 Rogues provided us with a free patch that increases its value vastly.  We are grateful to Dinofarm Games and Fusion Reactions for supporting their product and customers, and we will tell our friends about them.”

The sixth photo was a photograph of boxing champion Buster Douglas, but it got cut off.

More real, hard facts about this version coming soon.  It’ll be in your hands in a week or two!  Lots of fun stuff planned.  We’ll keep you posted.

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