Meet The Locker

on Aug 30 in Blog tagged by

Psst.  Hey you.  Yeah you, with the bucket-shaped helmet.  And you, vampire lady with the wings.  You guys got anything good on ya?

I don’t mean to pry or nothin’.  It’s just… well… what are you doin’ down here, exactly?  Wait – don’t tell me… you’ve been given a quest to go kill an evil wizard, the evil emperor, or the devil, or…  Ah, it was the devil, wasn’t it.  From the looks of ye, that probably sounded like a pretty good deal, eh?  You two weren’t exactly popular, I’m guessing.  Taking down the lord of darkness himself oughta make you a star, right?

So, here you are, adventurin’ down deeper and deeper.  I can see the eager looks on your faces;  you want that Satan-head so bad! You’ve amassed quite a little collection of items on the way… let’s see…  two Health Potions, poison darts, leather armor… not bad.  Well, I guess you – hey wait… what’s that I see glimmering on your finger, there?  Is that a… Ring of Strength +5?  Wow!

You might want to let me hold onto that.

It… it’s a bit hard to explain why.  Hmm… how do I say this?  Okay, imagine you’re a… a pumpkin.  And, so, Satan… he’s like… he’s the pumpkin-harvesting mechanized farmer-robot.  And he’s – sure, you can call him “Farm-Tron 5000”.  Anyway, let’s say you’re the pumpkin, and you’re trying to get away from the pumpkin patch, and escape to freedom.  So, you’re wiggling free of your roots, and trying to get by all the other pumpkins, and – and you’re feeling pretty good about it, right?  Like, you guys right now – I can see that you’re excited, and, you know, you have hope and all of that.  Well, but then, this pumpkin – which represents you – it can’t really outrun the high-tech tractor treads of this mechanized monster, the Farm-Tron 5000.  I mean, he’s got laser cannons, a bazaooka, a gravitron pulse beam, all SORTS of dangerous jazz, and you’re just a damn pumpkin.  I know it’s not a great analogy, but… do you get where I’m going?  You don’t, do you…

Alright.   Well, look – I know you might not understand now, but… I really think you should let me hold onto that ring.  I can hold onto it, and a few other items too if you want!  I mean… you guys look tough and everything, but you know, if somethin’ were to happen to yas, that ring would definitely be safe with me…

What’s that?  You don’t need advice from a stupid locker, you can take care of yourself?

*Sigh*… so I’ve been told.  Many, many times.


  1. Dzamir

    Sep 2nd, 2010

    The idea is great, now if I find an item for the other class I can save it, but how often the locker appears? I did an entire travel to Satan and didn’t find one.

  2. Keith Burgun

    Sep 7th, 2010

    10% chance per level. So if you see ten levels you should see one, on average. Might increase that a bit for the next patch, but not by much.

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